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Step Family Success - This is the Foundation for a Successful Step Family
What is a step family? At it's core it is two adults who've chosen to marry and at least one of them has a child from a previous relationship. That means that the foundation for any step family is the marriage of those two adults. If that marriage doesn't exist - there is no family. There are a lot of experts out there who love to give their "expert" opinion on how to make your step kids like you and how to grow closer as a step family. While that stuff is important, what is often woefully neglected is the importance of the marriage first and foremost. In some respects it's a marriage just like any other. You'll have the same struggles and joys in this marriage as you would any other. But, it's also significantly different than other marriages. Unlike first marriages this marriage equals instant family. You don't have as much couple time because you have kids right away! That means that you will have to grow and mature into the marriage while parenting. This adds stressors to an already fledgling marriage. Step couples need to be aware of these differences and plan accordingly. Yes, helping everyone in the family become more comfortable is important, but your marriage needs to take precedent. How can you carve out some time together? * Date nights
* Time in the evening when the kids go to bed
* Weekends when the kids are with their other parent These are all prime times to nurture your marital relationship. What other times can you think of? I encourage all of the step couples I coach to have regularly scheduled "couple time." Life gets crazy and in the way. Finding time to be together as a couple will rarely just happen. It's something you need to see as a priority and plan for.
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Contributor's Note
Click on the link below for access to other articles, forums, a Tip of the Week, video and great resources to help you achieve YOUR remarriage success.
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