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Alyssa Johnson > Intel > Remarriage Communication - Your Partner Won't Be Able to Resist This Communication Tip

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Remarriage Communication - Your Partner Won't Be Able to Resist This Communication Tip

Communication is important. Who disagrees with that? But, how do you do it?? This is the dilemma many couples and families run into. As you and your fiance prepare for your remarriage, it's important that you think about how to get this communication thing to work correctly. One of the most frequently overlooked communication skills is:

Compliments

I like to call this a connection communication becasue it brings you closer together. The focus isn't necessarily on solving anything or communicating important information. It's really just meant to strengthen your relationship.

We tend to forget good social skills with the people we're closest to. For example, if you're walking into work and a stranger holds the door for you, you'd probably thank them. But if your family is rushing out the door to head to work/school and your spouse holds the door on the way out, typically no thanks is offered. It's really easy in the midst of the craziness of step family life to forget to thank one another for taking the time to do those little things.

It's essential that you take the time to notice those little things and thank them. By not doing this, you're taking those actions for granted. The thought is, "of course they'll hold the door." You forget they had a choice to make and they chose to make that small gesture for you because they care about you. In my experience of working with couples for over 10 years, it's this "taking for granted" type thinking that is the death of marriages. Couples don't feel they have to take extra steps anymore because that spouse will always be there.

WRONG! If you're divorced, you know that's correct. As a couple preparing to remarry, don't fall into this trap. Remember how much you love this person and all the extras you enjoy doing now for them. Don't discard those after the "I Do's".

Here's a simple script to use in giving your fiance a compliment:

"I felt loved when you made my lunch for me because you knew I was running late this morning, I'd like for you to keep making small gestures like that when you have the time." The bolded items are the script. The other statements are the blanks you fill in. It's important that you let them know the effect their actions had on you. This means so much more to people than just a simple, "thank you."

So, make a goal of finding something you can compliment your partner for at least once a day. Make your relationship a priority. If you're purposely looking for things to compliment, you'll find them. The benefit: all of us like to receive compliments so your partner will do more of what you liked and/or you may start receiving a few compliments yourself.


Contributor's Note

If you enjoyed this article, click on the link below to gain instant access to more articles, forums, a Tip of the Week, video. and other great resources for YOUR remarriage success!

Contributed by Alyssa Johnson on April 9, 2008, at 3:01 PM UTC.

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This intel was contributed by Alyssa Johnson


Alyssa Johnson

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