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Alyssa Johnson > Intel > Remarriage Communication - Try This Communication Skill to Create an Unbreakable Remarriage

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Remarriage Communication - Try This Communication Skill to Create an Unbreakable Remarriage

Learning to communicate well in your relationship should be a high priority. If you've been divorced, odds are that poor communication had some part in that decision to dissolve your previous marriage. Why risk carrying that baggage over into your new relationship? Instead, it's time, now - before you're remarried - to learn new ways of doing things so past events aren't repeated. One of the new "things" (or skills as I like to call them) is being able to set goals as a couple.

Once you're married you are the co-captains of your team (family). It's important that you are able to set goals for your relationship and family. This can be as simple as what you're going to do this weekend or as complex as how to parent children. Step families require you to make many complex decisions and choices. In order for your marriage to stay strong both of you need to know that your plans for the future are heading in the same direction.

Without any goals we're just floating through life. We require some idea of where we're heading in order to be successful. How will we ever get somewhere if we don't even know what the destination is? In relation to your marriage, this doesn't always mean there's a formal discussion beginning with, "My goal for our family time on Saturday is...", but it does mean that the two of you can easily share your ideas about your relationship and family.

How does this happen?

By providing a safe atmosphere - Both of you need to know that your ideas will be heard and not disregarded. No matter how silly an idea is, listen to your partner. Once they're done, then you can start looking at it in detail. But, cutting one another off mid-sentence shows your partner that you don't think their ideas are valid. This causes them not to share anymore and you find yourself winding up in opposite directions and not know it.

Pay attention to buttons that get pushed - If your partner seems to feel really strongly about a subject, that's a good indication that it's something of value to them. Don't just become defensive and react. Try to find out what it is about this issue that is causing them to act the way they are. Odds are if it's valuable to them, they have goals in mind about it. An example of this is blowing up whenever the weekend parenting time schedule gets changed. They may really value their time with their children. In talking about this, you can set goals related to how to manage the family's time together.

Being on the same page, not just about your marriage, but your family is a key success element to any remarried couple. I encourage you to begin discussing what some of your goals are now, before the vows are exchanged. Getting in the habit of using this communication skill now, will only may your new marriage stronger.


Contributor's Note

If you enjoyed this article, click on the link below to gain instant access to more articles, forums, a Tip of the Week, video. and other great resources for YOUR remarriage success!

Contributed by Alyssa Johnson on April 10, 2008, at 9:26 AM UTC.

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This intel was contributed by Alyssa Johnson


Alyssa Johnson

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