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Alyssa Johnson > Intel > Divorce & Your Ex-Spouse - These Special Words Will Improve How You Get Along With Your Ex-Spouse

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Divorce & Your Ex-Spouse - These Special Words Will Improve How You Get Along With Your Ex-Spouse

Just the term "ex-spouse" typically makes people a little uncomfortable doesn't it? Images of angry, vindictive people usually come to mind. It doesn't have to be that way though. There are steps you can take to try to have a positive relationship with your ex. Ultimately, you can only control how the relationship goes from your end, and they will respond in their own way. But, there still is a lot of power involved in what you can do. Today, let's look at one of the most influential things you can do.

Change your attitude

This has everything to do with how you will interact with your ex-spouse. If you're still angry or hurt, then all of your interactions with them will based on these feelings. You may be able to put on a "game face", but your motivations and body language will still be coming from a place of anger or hurt. A great way to deal with this problem is to:

Change your perspective on the way you view this person

Huh? What do I mean by this? Well, here's a perfect example:

I recently was talking to a friend of mine who had a unique solution to getting along with his ex-spouse. During our conversation, he never referred to his ex-wife as his "ex". Instead he kept calling her "my boys' mom." At the time I though it was odd. But the more I got to thinking about it, I realized it was genius!

"Ex-spouse" has a negative connotation of someone from your past. You are constantly reminded that this is someone you loved, were married to and then things fell apart. The pain and the anger are constantly staring you in the face by using this term. By using this new wording, my friend is choosing to focus on the positive outcome of their relationship. He's also looking at the relationship they have together now - raising their boys. He's not focused on their past - loss, disappointment, anger, etc.

While this may sound like a silly and simple change of words, there is MUCH power in them. It's not just the words. It's that they force you to begin looking at this person differently. Your perspective changes from the past to the present.


Contributor's Note

If you enjoyed this article, click on the link below to gain instant access to more articles, forums, a Tip of the Week, video. and other great resources for YOUR remarriage success!

Contributed by Alyssa Johnson on March 25, 2008, at 7:54 AM UTC.

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This intel was contributed by Alyssa Johnson


Alyssa Johnson

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