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Dating After Divorce - The Danger of Not Waiting Until You're Ready to Date After Divorce
The decision to date after divorce is a big one, especially if you have children. Many complications can be added to your life and you need to make sure you're prepared for these. Now, keep in mind that complications aren't always a bad thing. It just means life is going to get busier and more energy is going to be needed to manage it. Making sure you're ready for this addition is really important. One way to be sure you're ready has to do with your motivation for even considering dating again. Are you lonely? Is it embarrassing to be single? Do you feel pressure from those around you to "get back out there?" The best motivation is when you... Genuinely desire companionship This is NOT a desperate need to be in a couple. In that situation, you'll take anyone. This is a key difference. You want to make sure you are being discriminating in who you'll go out with. Anytime you're on a date, there is the potential for a relationship to blossom out of it. Making sure you're not in a huge rush to jump into a relationship and are just interested in getting to know people will help you to slow down and better evaluate the candidates rather than grab the first breathing body. You should feel confident in your ability to live your own life alone, but choose not to. Finding a new partner shouldn't be viewed as the answer to all of the problems in your life. It won't necessarily make your finances better, or give your children the "family" they are missing right now. Instead, you should be wanting someone to compliment the life you've already created, NOT fulfill it. You should believe your life is already fulfilling. Your desire now is to just add to it. Waiting until the panic of needing to be in a couple or pressure from friends has passed will help you to feel better about yourself too. You'll know this is a decision you're making because YOU are ready. You're much more likely to just relax and enjoy getting to know new people. You won't have the pressure of trying to find the "right one" looming over your head. And, if getting remarried is your ultimate goal, then finding someone deserving of you or your children will be much more likely when you wait until you're ready.
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Contributor's Note
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